The family is viewed as a basic unit of society. The family is considered as a significant contributor to one’s individuality, and part of this belief is the characteristic behavior of some individuals to conclude the character of others based on their family background.
Often than not, these people believe that someone who comes from a broken family will be most likely to have a failed marriage in the future. “[T]he fact remains that numerous empirical studies have found that those who experience a parental divorce are significantly more likely to divorce themselves,” writes Renée Peltz Dennison, Ph.D.
Our definition of having a perfect family streams from the fact that it is complete and no dissolution of marriage that’s going to happen. However, with the change of times, family structure has evolved, and there is now acceptance of the many forms of family notwithstanding its completeness towards the formation of the personality of the individual.
“Children are living in many different kinds of families and households. A full 40 percent of them are not being raised by two married parents. Many are living with one parent, or with cohabiting parents, or with stepparents or grandparents, to name just a few of the most popular permutations,” writes Bella DePaulo, Ph.D.
Most of us are fortunate to have a complete family structure – a father, a mother, and siblings. In school, we are taught that having this type of family enables each member of the family to function normally and can bring out the best in everyone. However, there are some who have experienced the opposite, and this article will tell this side of the story.
Calling It Quits
Life has its way of making us happy, sometimes the most inconvenient and heartbreaking experience leads us to a blissful life, and I have witnessed this through a friend coming from a broken family; wherein, he has found happiness from his painful experience of seeing his parents go on separate ways. Witnessing how his parents would argue with each other almost every single day has been a traumatizing experience for him, seeing how his mother cried every night because his father has been sleeping with another woman was a torture for him. I can still vividly recall how Paul would describe the ordeal that had hit their family when he was about eight years old; his only wish at that time was to end the pain. At a very young age, he pleaded his mother to let go of his father, as he could no longer bear to see his mother begging for love.
The Rainbow After The Rain
At first, it was too emotional for Paul to have a broken family. He got scared that people might bully him for having separated parents, and he got sad that he wouldn’t have a complete family just like the other children in his school. He was afraid of how people would treat him, but his love for his mother was more significant than his fear of having a broken family. When his mother and father went on their separate ways, Paul stayed with his mother, and from then he made a promise that he would never let anyone hurt her and will make sure that they will still be happy despite everything that happened.
Having known Paul as a friend for more than five years, and learning that he came from a broken family made me realized that not all complete exudes happiness. Paul kept his promise to his mother. At the same time, his mother ensures that she played her mothering and fathering role altogether while bringing up Paul. This assurance has contributed to what Paul is now – a successful and established businessman.
Happiness Is Unique
I am happy and satisfied that I have a complete family. For others, they may be complete, but there are more psychological drama and complications surrounding the relationship. For Paul, happiness comes from being a broken family. He specifically chose to live with his mother alone instead of having his father around, yet there is no assurance of peace, love, and contentment in the family circle. With these two types of family set-up, one can surmise that having a complete family cannot bring you the happiness that you want.
“Things often go wrong. Life is full of detours. And, families that hang in there with each other can make a difference in a sometimes cold and indifferent world,” writes Mark Banschick, MD.