10.15.07
Posted in Our Bodies, Paths to Bliss
at 1:49 pm
I am proud to announce Colorado’s first ever Fat Girl Clothing Swap. I am co-conspiring with one of the original organizers of the Fat Girl Flea Market, Tina Arroyo, to create a day of fat, fashion, and fabulousness. We were talking about how it’s often difficult to find cute clothes in plus sizes and even more difficult to find them in Colorado (the closest Avenue is in Albuquerque!). We thought it would be fun to have a clothing swap so we could meet some great people and essentially throw a big party where everyone leaves with cute clothes. While we’re at it, we thought we would give back to the fat community by donating all proceeds to FLARE!, an organization that helps people affected by weight discrimination.
Thus was born the Fat Girl Clothing Swap. All information about the Swap can be found at our website, but here are some great reasons to participate:
- We will have gift bags with surprises and tons of resources for fat girls for the first 50 shoppers.
- You will find clothes from all your favorite stores at a tenth of the cost.
- We have several awesome raffle prizes that will include art, books, and services.
- You’ll be able to get rid of clothes you don’t wear to make room for fabulous new clothes that you will find at the Swap.
- All proceeds are going to a wonderful charity that is out there fighting for the rights of fat people in the United States.
- We will have a make-up station so you can get a beauty make-over with your new clothes.
- For those interested, we will be taking fashion photographs of shoppers in a new outfit and we will email you the pictures.
- It is going to be a blast! We’ll have great music, dedicated volunteers who want you to look and feel fabulous, and plenty of cute clothes for any occasion.
If you would like to volunteer for the event, donate clothes*, donate a raffle prize, or have any questions, please feel free to use the contact page on this site or email me at kimberly [at] fabandfat [dot] com.
*Please note: You do not have to live in the Denver Metro area to donate clothes. If you’d like to clean out your closets and send us the clothes for the swap, please email me for details.
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10.09.07
Posted in Law of Attraction, Make Your Life Easier, Manifestation, Paths to Bliss
at 2:22 pm
I’ve pretty much always been a die-hard fan of the idea that action is what brings results (not surprising considering the world we live in operates on this idea for the most part). First, you plan and set goals. Next, you employ discipline by taking action towards those goals. Finally, you react to circumstances and with luck and flexibility you will meet your goals and get results. It’s completely logical and very satisfying because there’s a lot of control in that process.
There’s a lot about that process that did not produce feelings of happiness for me though. Many times, the whole planning thing eluded me because I didn’t actually know what to do or how to plan for what I
wanted. Often the action that I thought I should take wasn’t fun or reinforced a story that didn’t feel right to me. Sometimes even if I had planned and taken action, the results didn’t come or didn’t conform to my expectations. I began to believe that there was something wrong with how I was approaching the process or with my discipline or with the goals I had set. I lost confidence in my intuition and got stuck in a big “I don’t know” cycle: I don’t know how to plan for this, I don’t know what steps to take, I don’t really know what I want, so how can I plan or take action, if I can’t take action I can’t go anywhere, I’m stuck but the only way to get unstuck is to do something, etc. Yuck!
Lately, though, I’ve discovered that the most liberating, happy-making thought I can have is “I don’t know.” It’s a big leap, I realize, but the reason “I don’t know” is so hard is that typically we attach fear to it as if not knowing will bring us misery and only knowing will bring us what we want. But what if we don’t have to know anything? What if good things can happen to us without knowing how and when they will come and without knowing exactly what we want? What if doing something is beside the point? (How does that thought make you feel? A little scared at not having control over the process maybe? Good! That’s exactly where I’m poking you. Poke. Poke.)
The Law of Attraction (1. Ask, 2. Answer, 3. Receive) says that if you ask for something and then come into alignment with it, you will have it every time. At no point during this process do you have to know anything.
Read the rest of this entry »
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10.04.07
Posted in Law of Attraction, Make Your Life Easier, Paths to Bliss, Positive Thinking
at 12:17 pm
To the person who came to the blog after searching “feeling sad when trying to do positive thinking,” it’s only natural. We’ve been trained that things need to be hard. Here’s some comfort though (hopefully): You don’t have to feel awesome all the time. We encounter things that make us sad so we can ask for the things that make us happy. The contrast is how we grow and fine-tune our preferences. Further, it’s just not possible to go from feeling sad to feeling blissful. It’s too big of a leap and there’s no way to access thoughts of bliss when we feel down.
The way to stop feeling sad is to choose to take a little step towards feeling better and generating a feeling of relief. If you’re depressed, the feeling that may bring you relief from depression might be anger. So get angry. If you’re feeling disillusioned, the feeling that may bring you relief could be optimism. Just step as high as you can in any given moment. Reach for thoughts that bring relief and as you reach for them keep asking, “Do I feel better or worse?”
The beauty of this is that you will immediately feel some relief, and the more you do it the better you will feel. The other fun part of this process is that the more you do it, the more it will become an unconscious process and you’ll feel bad less and less. The ideal is looking forward to contrast as you realize that the contrast is helping to bring you what you actually want.
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10.03.07
Posted in Law of Attraction, Make Your Life Easier, Paths to Bliss, Positive Thinking
at 8:55 am
There’s a great post over at The M.A.P. Maker about thought redirection.
Have you ever tried not to think of something, only to have that something dominate your thoughts? There’s a famous experiment where researchers told the subject to try not to think of a white bear and then had them blurt out whatever came into their mind over the next five minutes.
What dominated their thoughts? You got it. White bears.
Here’s an article that suggests it’s the same with our negative thoughts. Trying not to think those thoughts will only make them breed like bunnies.
The trick, according to the article, isn’t suppression, it’s redirection…
For those of us on the positive thinking path, we’re acquainted with the spiral of negative thinking. We believe that positive thinking creates good in our lives so when we have negative thoughts we worry that we’re undermining that and then by thinking that we’re undermining positive thinking we’re making it worse which leads to being upset which leads to us thinking it will be worse etc. etc. etc.
The article referenced in the post has a great alternative to help snap us out of our negative thoughts: ask yourself a question (specifically about how you can turn the situation around or about what your goals are). I would take this idea further by suggesting that you turn the situation around. Whatever subject you’re feeling negative about, you can redirect those thoughts by thinking, “This situation is a blessing because …” or “This situation is helping me learn something about myself because …”
I love this idea for a couple of reasons. First, it’s a constructive way to let go of our negative thoughts and/or face our fear. If we run away from our negative thoughts instead of trying to figure out why they’re there, they just take up that much more attention (often in the background, churning away). If we can turn them around and look at things in a more positive light, the fear and negativity will dissipate before we spend too much time on them. Second, the more you look for the blessing in the curve balls life throws at you, the easier it will be to find blessings all around you. Things that would typically phase you become opportunities for growth and passion.
My go to blessing is that the contrast in our lives helps us ask for what we want. In other words, every time we see or experience something we don’t want, we ask for what we do want. And the Universe always says yes.
What blessings are around you?
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10.01.07
Posted in Make Your Life Easier, Our Bodies, Paths to Bliss
at 8:33 am
I’ve been thinking about the idea of obligation a lot recently. I’ve been reading a lot of Body Acceptance blogs lately and when the subject of weight or health comes up the idea of obligation goes hand and hand (more on this in a minute). I thought about what a relief the thought, “I don’t have to be or do anything unless I want to,” has been for me. I remember what a relief it was when someone told me that and I got it. It was like I had their permission to be me. And I had to step back and really think about why I needed permission to let go of obligation like that.
Here’s what I’ve come up with: I think the reason we need permission to let go of a lot of obligation in our lives is that the obligation did not come from inside of us in the first place. We don’t inherently want to make ourselves miserable to look or be a certain way, but there is typically a lot of pressure to do so. So much pressure, in fact, that we feel like we’re failing if we don’t conform to the standards that other people have set for us. If someone sets new standards that are easier for us to take steps towards we feel relief because they have given us permission to take an easier path. Somehow, what we really think gets mixed up in these standards and we lose part of ourselves to the process.
So. This post is about increasing our awareness of our perceived obligations and letting them go. We’re allowed to be who we are right now, all the time, without anyone else’s input. I’m going to give examples of obligations I’ve found in myself and others and then give us permission to let them go.
Read the rest of this entry »
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09.26.07
Posted in Paths to Bliss
at 11:28 am
Priscilla Palmer is compiling a list of outstanding personal development bloggers (I’d reproduce the list here, but it is ever-growing so go check it out in her post). Below is her description of personal development and her list:
Personal development is a large topic that includes but is not limited to (law of attraction, goals, time management, physical fitness, education, motivation, inspiration, and social skills). This list should include any blog you feel can benefit us in our growth process.
I’m honored to be on the list and have a few contributions. Most of the people I read on a regular basis were already on there, and then I noticed one area sadly lacking: Body Acceptance. So here are my contributions to help fill in the gap:
Peggy Elam at On the Whole
Good With Cheese at Good With Cheese
Kate Harding at Shapely Prose
The Rotund at The Rotund
Laurie Toby Edison at Body Impolitic
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09.19.07
Posted in Paths to Bliss, Positive Thinking, Visualization
at 8:46 am
Over at Occupational Adventure, there is an interesting post about how our brain is wired:
“If the top is convinced, the bottom level of data will be overruled.” In other words, what you believe, you see. That has so much potential to be either an amazing asset, or an excruciating obstacle.
Take a look at your life. More specifically, take a look at the idea of creating a life that feels fun, meaningful, and fulfilling. How do you see it? Is the top convinced that it’s possible, or a pipe-dream? With a 10 to 1 ratio of information going down as coming up, you can see why - however you see it - you’re probably right.
In other words, we see what we believe. A great example of this is the success of placebos–our belief is that the medication will help, therefore it helps. This basically means that our brain is wired for visualization and manifestation. Our picture of reality is literally based 10x more on our beliefs than by what is actually in front of us. If we wake up and and believe that it’s going to be a crappy day, everything we see will reflect that belief. If we believe we are ugly, every time we look in a mirror our ugliness will stare back at us. If on the other hand, we believe that great things are going to happen and that we are beautiful, the things we see will reflect that belief.
Just imagine the power of our physiology at work here. It shows the amazing power of positive thinking in a very concrete way. If we deliberately reprogram our beliefs to focus on positive things, what we see around us will be positive. The momentum of that positivity will lead to wonderful things.
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09.18.07
Posted in Discovering the Senses, Our Bodies, Paths to Bliss
at 11:18 am
I’ve added a bunch of new links to the sidebar under “Body Acceptance.” The abundance of resources and support for this topic is overwhelming (in a good way). Here are a few I want to highlight:
12 Steps to Health at Every Size
Health at Every Size is a way of life that focuses on how you’re feeling (sound familiar?) and making friends with your body instead of what you weigh or what body type you have.
Good With Cheese
This is one of my new favorite blogs because it is about a woman’s journey to listening to and accepting her body. And because she’s hilarious.
You Don’t Have to Be Pretty
Here’s an oldie but a goodie that is worth a re-read (every. freakin’. month.). It’s about how we don’t owe prettiness to anyone. We only owe happiness to ourselves.
Here are some particularly good posts that I’ve come across recently (they may not have actually been written recently, but they’re new to me.):
Crush-Worthy
This right here sums up one of the best thing about participating in the Health at Every Size movement: The joy that comes with a lovely realignment in priorities.
You Won’t Go to Hell Because it Tastes Good
This post challenges us to remove moral judgment from what we eat.
I dare you
The Rotund dares us to go an entire day without thinking or saying negative things about our bodies.
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09.16.07
Posted in Paths to Bliss
at 1:55 pm
The past month kicked my ass.
It’s hard for me to type it, and then copy it into Wordpress, and then publish that. Here I am, the self-appointed Queen of Positive Thinking and then events conspire to knock me down and question everything in my life. To say the least, it’s been a humbling experience. Less than a week after I wrote a post Titled (oh merciless irony!) Doubts:
Stop struggling. Stop clawing. Stop working. Let go. Get out of your own way, stop making things more complicated than they are (which is not at all). Do what comes into your mind to do, when it comes into your mind. Trust that the worst possible thing that could happen to you will always be the best possible thing that could happen to you. Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is. The Universe always says yes to what you think and ask.
Stop looking outside of yourself to find happiness. That means stop waiting for people and things and money and situations. Let them go. Turn “what is†into the best day of your life. Turn your focus inside…
I was facing a situation that shook me to the core of everything I have become. The details aren’t really important—I can easily explain them away, put a positive spin on them, change them into a blessing, etc. What’s important is how they affected me: I was in a state of complete despair. I mean that literally—I was at a point where I had no hope, I was angrier than I remember ever being, where I felt the last three years of my life were a complete waste, where I felt completely spiritually abandoned, where the only thing that felt real to me was that despair. Everything I gained since I moved to Colorado felt like a joke, and once I started questioning a few things, everything became questionable. My mother called it the Dark Night of the Soul, but I called it a big steaming pile of poo.
My words about letting go and stopping my struggles and finding happiness inside were taunting me. I had even printed them out along with the affirmations below them and hung them on the wall behind my computer before everything broke open. When my crisis began, I would glare at them in defiance and think, “I’m amazed I have friends if this is the kind of crap I’ve been saying to them. I’m a jackass.” I came face to face with exactly how hard it is to hear those things when times are tough.
My mother, going through a slightly less traumatic but still difficult crisis of spirit herself, kept trying to talk me down. “There’s a reason! There’s a reason! Something’s coming. You’ll be ok. Just surrender and let go.” And the core that is intrinsically who I am desperately wanted to believe that. The fiery ball of resentment that had taken me over kept demanding, “Less talk! MORE RESULTS!” And I went into that spiral of bitterness that results from fear that being upset was just making everything worse, but who cared if I was questioning everything I believed in. My whole existence became that spiral. I didn’t even know how to live my day much less live my life. It felt like a failure of staggering proportions. Here I was, completely and utterly incapable of following my own advice and what was worse, my ever-reliable brain couldn’t figure out how to move on.
So I’ve been recovering from that. And I wish I could say that I magically got everything back and here I am in happyland again, la la la. It’s not true though. I got beaten down so far and became so tired in all four of my bodies (physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual) that I had no choice except move on. Well that’s not true, I had a choice: I could either stay upset and do nothing and feel nothing or I could just put one foot in front of the other and make little choices to make myself feel better. It was time to take my own advice by doing what I could in any given moment to make myself feel better because I couldn’t live feeling bad all the time anymore. Things are the way they are and I can either live with joy and hope or I can be sad and bitter. And since I made the decision that I was done being sad, the joy and hope have started filling the empty spaces. What a wonderful affirmation, no?
So here’s my revised plan for letting go–this is how I’ve convinced myself to join the land of the (happy) living again:
- There’s nothing to figure out. There’s just me and how I’m feeling and how I’m reacting to my life.
- There is only now. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow will take care of itself.
- I am always allowed to feel, to think, to eat, to move, to say whatever/whenever/however I want.
- Affirm that my intuition will never fail me, even if it leads me in painful directions.
- Tell myself over and over (whether I’m feeling it or not): The Universe always says yes.
Yes, the past month kicked my ass, but I’M BACK!
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08.20.07
Posted in Paths to Bliss
at 11:11 am
Here’s this week’s installment of you asked, I’ll answer:
For the person who came to the site with the search phrase, “tips on bringing more synchronicity in your life” there’s an easy answer: Notice it. Synchronicity is “old reliable” when the Universe is trying to send us messages. The more we look for themes in our lives and make a point to keep an eye out, the more we’ll see. The other trick is to follow your intuition. Synchronicity is often the way we get “you’re on the right track!” messages when we tune in.
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