10.09.07
Posted in Law of Attraction, Make Your Life Easier, Manifestation, Paths to Bliss
at 2:22 pm
I’ve pretty much always been a die-hard fan of the idea that action is what brings results (not surprising considering the world we live in operates on this idea for the most part). First, you plan and set goals. Next, you employ discipline by taking action towards those goals. Finally, you react to circumstances and with luck and flexibility you will meet your goals and get results. It’s completely logical and very satisfying because there’s a lot of control in that process.
There’s a lot about that process that did not produce feelings of happiness for me though. Many times, the whole planning thing eluded me because I didn’t actually know what to do or how to plan for what I
wanted. Often the action that I thought I should take wasn’t fun or reinforced a story that didn’t feel right to me. Sometimes even if I had planned and taken action, the results didn’t come or didn’t conform to my expectations. I began to believe that there was something wrong with how I was approaching the process or with my discipline or with the goals I had set. I lost confidence in my intuition and got stuck in a big “I don’t know” cycle: I don’t know how to plan for this, I don’t know what steps to take, I don’t really know what I want, so how can I plan or take action, if I can’t take action I can’t go anywhere, I’m stuck but the only way to get unstuck is to do something, etc. Yuck!
Lately, though, I’ve discovered that the most liberating, happy-making thought I can have is “I don’t know.” It’s a big leap, I realize, but the reason “I don’t know” is so hard is that typically we attach fear to it as if not knowing will bring us misery and only knowing will bring us what we want. But what if we don’t have to know anything? What if good things can happen to us without knowing how and when they will come and without knowing exactly what we want? What if doing something is beside the point? (How does that thought make you feel? A little scared at not having control over the process maybe? Good! That’s exactly where I’m poking you. Poke. Poke.)
The Law of Attraction (1. Ask, 2. Answer, 3. Receive) says that if you ask for something and then come into alignment with it, you will have it every time. At no point during this process do you have to know anything.
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10.04.07
Posted in Law of Attraction, Make Your Life Easier, Paths to Bliss, Positive Thinking
at 12:17 pm
To the person who came to the blog after searching “feeling sad when trying to do positive thinking,” it’s only natural. We’ve been trained that things need to be hard. Here’s some comfort though (hopefully): You don’t have to feel awesome all the time. We encounter things that make us sad so we can ask for the things that make us happy. The contrast is how we grow and fine-tune our preferences. Further, it’s just not possible to go from feeling sad to feeling blissful. It’s too big of a leap and there’s no way to access thoughts of bliss when we feel down.
The way to stop feeling sad is to choose to take a little step towards feeling better and generating a feeling of relief. If you’re depressed, the feeling that may bring you relief from depression might be anger. So get angry. If you’re feeling disillusioned, the feeling that may bring you relief could be optimism. Just step as high as you can in any given moment. Reach for thoughts that bring relief and as you reach for them keep asking, “Do I feel better or worse?”
The beauty of this is that you will immediately feel some relief, and the more you do it the better you will feel. The other fun part of this process is that the more you do it, the more it will become an unconscious process and you’ll feel bad less and less. The ideal is looking forward to contrast as you realize that the contrast is helping to bring you what you actually want.
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10.03.07
Posted in Law of Attraction, Make Your Life Easier, Paths to Bliss, Positive Thinking
at 8:55 am
There’s a great post over at The M.A.P. Maker about thought redirection.
Have you ever tried not to think of something, only to have that something dominate your thoughts? There’s a famous experiment where researchers told the subject to try not to think of a white bear and then had them blurt out whatever came into their mind over the next five minutes.
What dominated their thoughts? You got it. White bears.
Here’s an article that suggests it’s the same with our negative thoughts. Trying not to think those thoughts will only make them breed like bunnies.
The trick, according to the article, isn’t suppression, it’s redirection…
For those of us on the positive thinking path, we’re acquainted with the spiral of negative thinking. We believe that positive thinking creates good in our lives so when we have negative thoughts we worry that we’re undermining that and then by thinking that we’re undermining positive thinking we’re making it worse which leads to being upset which leads to us thinking it will be worse etc. etc. etc.
The article referenced in the post has a great alternative to help snap us out of our negative thoughts: ask yourself a question (specifically about how you can turn the situation around or about what your goals are). I would take this idea further by suggesting that you turn the situation around. Whatever subject you’re feeling negative about, you can redirect those thoughts by thinking, “This situation is a blessing because …” or “This situation is helping me learn something about myself because …”
I love this idea for a couple of reasons. First, it’s a constructive way to let go of our negative thoughts and/or face our fear. If we run away from our negative thoughts instead of trying to figure out why they’re there, they just take up that much more attention (often in the background, churning away). If we can turn them around and look at things in a more positive light, the fear and negativity will dissipate before we spend too much time on them. Second, the more you look for the blessing in the curve balls life throws at you, the easier it will be to find blessings all around you. Things that would typically phase you become opportunities for growth and passion.
My go to blessing is that the contrast in our lives helps us ask for what we want. In other words, every time we see or experience something we don’t want, we ask for what we do want. And the Universe always says yes.
What blessings are around you?
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10.01.07
Posted in Make Your Life Easier, Our Bodies, Paths to Bliss
at 8:33 am
I’ve been thinking about the idea of obligation a lot recently. I’ve been reading a lot of Body Acceptance blogs lately and when the subject of weight or health comes up the idea of obligation goes hand and hand (more on this in a minute). I thought about what a relief the thought, “I don’t have to be or do anything unless I want to,” has been for me. I remember what a relief it was when someone told me that and I got it. It was like I had their permission to be me. And I had to step back and really think about why I needed permission to let go of obligation like that.
Here’s what I’ve come up with: I think the reason we need permission to let go of a lot of obligation in our lives is that the obligation did not come from inside of us in the first place. We don’t inherently want to make ourselves miserable to look or be a certain way, but there is typically a lot of pressure to do so. So much pressure, in fact, that we feel like we’re failing if we don’t conform to the standards that other people have set for us. If someone sets new standards that are easier for us to take steps towards we feel relief because they have given us permission to take an easier path. Somehow, what we really think gets mixed up in these standards and we lose part of ourselves to the process.
So. This post is about increasing our awareness of our perceived obligations and letting them go. We’re allowed to be who we are right now, all the time, without anyone else’s input. I’m going to give examples of obligations I’ve found in myself and others and then give us permission to let them go.
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09.20.07
Posted in Make Your Life Easier, Manifestation, Positive Thinking, Quick Tricks
at 12:40 pm
Your job is to be happy.
Sometimes I have negative emotions about the consequences of how I’m spending my time. I feel like I should be more productive or doing different things that traditionally lead to the results (in this case, income) I desire. I know from a deep place inside of me, though, that living a traditional life will not give me the same kind of fulfillment.
This is the affirmation I use when those negative emotions and thoughts pop up: My job is to be happy and employer is the Universe who always pays me what I ask for. That reminds me to keep doing things that make me feel good, and to ask for A LOT.
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08.18.07
Posted in Law of Attraction, Make Your Life Easier, Manifestation, Paths to Bliss
at 11:48 pm
So you’ve been working hard reaching for better thoughts and facing your fears. Or maybe you’ve been working hard at thinking about reaching better thoughts and facing your fears. But things still kind of suck, but you don’t want to think about how they suck because that would just make it worse right? But if you’ve been working hard and things still suck at some point they either have to turn around or you will start to doubt that you have control over things after all. And you really, really don’t want to doubt things. But they keep creeping in and just when you thought they were going to get better, they kind of got worse.
So then you wonder if this is the “healing crisis” you’ve heard about—where during the healing process, things get worse before they get better because you’re getting at core beliefs. Healing or not, it’s definitely a crisis. You’ve got bills to pay and work to do and a life to live and what if this whole line of reasoning is bullshit? And then you struggle to nip that line of reasoning in the bud. But damn, it’s not fair how easy it is to slip into a terror spiral, but how hard it is to claw your way to a positive thought. Why is that anyway? And while you’re on the subject, why are doughnuts really bad for you, but twigs and leaves are great?
“Why can’t things be easy?” you ask. Where’s your found winning lottery ticket? Where is your miracle? How long do you have to work at being happy before you’re actually happy? How long do you have to pay for old mistakes? Why can’t you watch The Secret or read Think and Grow Rich and then automatically get it and never have to struggle again? Why couldn’t you remember what you knew before you were born? Why are you so far from where you want to be? How long are you going to have to imagine where you want to be instead of looking around at what is?
If that sounds even remotely familiar, I have an answer for you. It may not be what you want to hear, you may wish you knew me in person so you could drive to Denver and smack me. That being the case, I’ll work up to it by saying that all of those questions are my questions. So if they’re familiar to you, know that we are soul mates. The answer is a poem dedicated to me. So here it is:
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08.10.07
Posted in Discovering the Senses, Make Your Life Easier, Paths to Bliss
at 10:03 am
As you might now if you’ve read anything I’ve written, I am all about abundance these days. I want to surround myself with people and things that make me feel good. I want to live with the assurance that if I release myself to the creative process of life, everything I want will come to me. I wasn’t always this way though coming from the extended family that I did—who often celebrated how long they’d had something rather than it’s functionality or condition. I very much had the mentality that if it worked we used it. I often “made do” with many of the things in my life because they were there and there was no point in spending money to buy something that was better or prettier when what I had worked just fine.
Can you see how “making do” has an energy of stagnation and lack? Now, I’m not talking about the beat up pair of shoes that you love and make you feel like you can walk a million miles when you’re wearing them. That has an energy of love. I’m talking about the things that you’re keeping around just because they work, and you’re having a hard time justifying getting one that is more pleasing because it seems like a waste of resources. This is where I circle back around to the title of this post: I think it’s really important to surround ourselves in aesthetically pleasing things–whatever that means for each of us.
If you read almost any book on organization or motivation, it’s going to tell you that you have to find ways to want to do things. If you’re trying to organize, that means buying baskets and folders that you want to touch and see around the house. Maybe it means finding some fun pens you love to hold and use and see their ink on paper. Have you ever noticed that when you encounter people who have a hobby or a career they love, they have surrounded themselves with the fun gadgets and accoutrements that go along with their activities? When you go over to someone’s house who clearly likes to entertain, they typically have pretty dishes and glasses (not necessarily expensive, but pleasing nonetheless). Families who like to spend time in the living room will often have big, smooshy couches that make you want to dive right in.
My point is, those things display the passion and joy of the people who own them–even more, those things help fuel the passion and joy for those people. I’ll give you an example. I love to cook and bake. I find such creative pleasure in finding a recipe, adding my personal flare, and then receiving the warm appreciation from those who eat what I’ve made. One of the results of my passion for cooking is an obsession with pretty and useful kitchenware. So I have a standing mixer to help me whip up eggs and cream and batter and bread dough. It removes a lot of the grunt work that I find unpleasant. (Some people love to get their hands in floury dough–and I totally appreciate that inclination. Personally, it gives me the heebie jeebies.) I bought some extremely lovely Nigella Lawson ceramic measuring cups. When I look at them, not only do I feel a surge of happiness from their shape and color, but they remind me of the joy Nigella Lawson brings to everything she makes and her life in general.
So what happens when we surround ourselves with things we love? Imagine what your life would be like if everywhere you looked, you saw something that made you smile or feel good. How would you approach doing tasks that you would otherwise feel are unpleasant if you have beautiful or fun tools to do them with? What if you never had to “make do” with anything, but could either find joy in what you have right now, or manifest something that puts you in a happy state of mind?
Transforming your environment into something that pleases you is typically something that happens little by little over time (Extreme Home Makeovers aside, of course), so I’m not suggesting that you throw everything you don’t like away and spend every dime you have to buy new things. Because ultimately this is not about things it’s about an attitude and a state of mind. If we retrain ourselves to think that we deserve to have an environment that brings us joy, to choose to surround ourselves with things we love on a day to day basis, we will be shifting our awareness towards abundance and we will continually affirm that we deserve to live joyful lives.
Share the story of how something you love found its way into your life at the Uncover Your Bliss forums.
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08.07.07
Posted in Law of Attraction, Make Your Life Easier, Paths to Bliss, Resources
at 7:09 am
Many of you have been playing with the idea of manifestation. You’ve bought into the idea (mostly) that your thoughts actually create what’s going on in your life and if you’re anything like me, that idea has probably filled you with empowerment and dread. “I can create the things I want? Awesome!” “All the crap in my life is my own doing? Gaargh!” This post will be my attempt to remove at least some of the dread from the amazing process of deliberate creation and has been inspired by the book The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent by Esther and Jerry Hicks. The book gelled a lot of ideas that I couldn’t quite reach and has been an invaluable resource in my growth process.
First a refresher: The Law of Attraction states that there are three steps to manifesting what we want. The first step is asking which happens a thousand times a day—every time we have a preference for something. We cannot help but ask and even though we are compelled to drum the point home, focusing on asking for the things we want is unnecessary because our wanting does it for us. The second step is the answering which the Universe does for us so once again our attention is not necessary. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that our attention to how the things we want will come into our lives only limits possibilities and is usually detrimental to the process. The third step is receiving and this is the part of the process that requires our full focus. That is the step I’m going to be talking about in this post.
I’m going to cut right to the chase and tell you that the crap in our lives serves a very useful function. The experiences we don’t want are here to inspire desire for what we do want. If we encounter someone who is mean to us, we automatically ask the Universe to be surrounded by people who treat us with respect. If we can’t pay our bills, we automatically ask to be surrounded by abundance. If our cars break down, we automatically ask to have reliable transportation. If we never had displeasing experiences, we would never feel the joy of the creative process and its results.
Why, oh why, do they have to hang around though, right? If their purpose is to help us ask for things, why don’t they go away after we ask? They stick around because we are focusing our attention on the asking and on why we’re asking instead of receiving what the Universe always brings us in reply. So, we can’t pay our bills and we automatically ask to be surrounded by abundance. And instead of thinking, “Oh yay! This unpaid bill was a reminder that I want abundance and now I’ve asked and now it will naturally flow into my life because the Universe always answers yes! I’m so glad I couldn’t pay my bill!” we think, “I hate the fact that I can’t pay my bills. I wish I had more money. My bank account is so empty. I don’t even want to look at these bills.” Even though the Universe always answers yes and is responding by bringing abundance into our lives we cannot bring it into physical manifestation until we know—until we feel—that it is here.
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06.04.07
Posted in Make Your Life Easier, Resources, Website News
at 8:49 am
I’ve added a nifty new, handy dandy Amazon.com store to the Uncover Your Bliss site. It features books, dvds, magazines, and other products that I love and help me take steps towards bliss. I’ve done it through Amazon.com for a few reasons: 1) They have a great selection; 2) They have a secure online transaction process; 3) I’ve been an associate for a while and it will help support the site; 4) They have an extremely robust and highly customizable personalized store system.
The Uncover Your Bliss Store has seven sections:
- On the Bliss Shelves - Recommendations from me for good resources and inspirational material
- Body Awareness - Resources that help me tune into my body and make friends with it.
- Tools - Tools that help me get in touch with my guides and my inner wisdom.
- Music - Music I’ve bought to help me meditate and send clients into a relaxed and meditative state during treatments.
- DVDs - DVDs that put me in a great mood.
- Magazines - Magazines I subscribe to that I love and that make my life easier.
- For Fun - Various products that I love and that make me happy.
I will be adding items to my store on a regular basis, so check back often!
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05.14.07
Posted in Make Your Life Easier, Paths to Bliss
at 7:57 am
Things have been quiet around here for the past week or so and that’s because I had to give myself permission to take a breather from some things in my life so I could think and stew and mull and digest everything that has been happening to me. During the past week I was observing myself and thinking about things that are important to me. It was interesting for me to watch the baggage that surrounded the idea that I needed to 
take a break from all the things that were going on in my life. I had periods of guilt, of feeling lazy, of fear that I was missing out on something. The reality was that I needed a break so I had a chance to emotionally and spiritually catch up with the changes in my life.
I think it’s interesting that I could work myself into the ground–forsaking family and friends and the little things in my life that bring me joy and I would not feel the same kind of emotional baggage that came along with the time I spent reconnecting with myself, my friends, and my family. I began to wonder why I felt like I had to produce something to be truly productive. Oh look. Produce and Productive are practically the same word. Apparently this baggage is hard wired into the language!
Part of honoring ourselves as whole beings is honoring the downtime as much as the times when we’re actively producing. That means we seek fulfillment in the times we have something to show for our efforts and the times we are engaging in reflection and relaxation. I’ve always been the type of person who needs reflection time after bursts of activity, I’ve just never embraced that side of myself without feeling like I was checking out from what I was supposed to be doing. What I forgot is that I’m “supposed” to be living my life and seeking joy.
Here are some questions that may help you take a break from productivity baggage if you’ve been carrying it around:
- What do you do to recharge?
- Do you feel guilty when you do this? Why?
- What did you do the times you didn’t feel guilty for relaxing?
- How can you incorporate your down time into every day?
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