I started First Ourselves, http://www.firstourselves.com, to love and accept myself just as I am; to create my own happiness; to love and accept my body.

Thank you for saying this outloud, and affirming that we are all worthy, just as we are.

In sisterhood,
Karly Pitman
http://www.firstourselves.com

“If you think you “should” be doing something because it will make you happy, but the thought that you “should” do it is making you miserable, stop thinking that thought and do and think what actually gives you a feeling of happiness or relief’

My gosh woman, you hit the nail on the head here! I battle with not feeling good enough and the “should be” thing plagues me. I am printing this out and keeping it handy for days when I need the reminder. Thanks!

Oh yes, exactly. In addition to the “Our product (or diet plan) will make you so much better than your sad, flawed self” advertising, there’s the “You need us to show you how to be unique so you can be cool like everyone else” advertising. No wonder we’re all confused. But it’s not just advertising either. We tend to do it for each other because we all have an idea of how things “should” be. (See: Me, Queen of this.) So I think letting go of the “shoulds” is about letting go of expectations for other people too…so they can figure out what they want for themselves.

DivaJean
Apparently we have the same affliction: A-type personality/perfectionist (we are masters of “should”, no?). I’m glad your life is giving you the opportunity to fine tune what you want and that you’re learning to let go of the things you don’t. Creative energy is the best kind and giving yourself the space to do that is such an affirmation of who you are! Maybe you’ll be able to squeeze in a little more when you’re not commuting

I have had to redefine my sense of purpose several times over the past few years- and each time, it happened when I was overdoing stuff other people wanted me to be doing- or I perceived them as wanting me to do.

I certainly have my responsibilities as the breadwinner for a family of 6 (myself, my partner and our 4 kids)– but I do not kill myself over work. Work is the means to an end– my family is the life work I define myself by. Having time to be with my kids is more important than having a few more bucks to buy them stuff they probably don’t really need or want more than having me there.

I have also defined that I must have at least one hour of creative time per day. My job is cubicle/Dilbert world– grey and dullish. I have found that by doing small hand crafts on the bus to & from work, I can release my creative energy in a quiet, self focused way. Its become like meditation, with crafting. (Man am I deep for a Tuesday– get the shovel someone!)

I LIKE YOUR BLOG!

Randall:
I got a wild hair this weekend after being subjected to commercials (we have TiVo so I don’t usually watch them) that just hammer the message that we need to be different and after reading some blogs of people who are ever-struggling with the idea that they must be flawed if they can’t live up to expectations. I think it’s time to call bullshit on all of it.