05.15.07

Meditation Rules

Posted in Paths to Bliss at 8:37 am

How many things do you put off in your life because the expectations of how/who/when aren’t meshing with your life? You would do X, but you’re “supposed” to do X in the morning and there’s no way you could do it then. You’d love to do Y, but not all the steps make sense for you personally so you write off the whole venture. (And by you, I of course mean us.) This mindset is especially prevalent for those of us who are perfectionists, but I’d wager that it challenges most people.

Karen, over at Live the Power, wrote a post about how she overcame her own expectations to begin meditating:

As it turns out the only thing really stopping me were the limitations in my own mind. I needed to drop my arbitrary “rules” and rather than think about how difficult it was I needed to think about how it could be done.

So I considered my “vision” and my “rules”. Did I want to meditate or did I want it to be perfect? I wanted to meditate. So I dropped the rules about doing it in the morning. That won’t work at my house. I dropped the time limit, an hour is wonderful but 15 minutes will suffice. Basically I dropped all of my arbitrary rules about how it should be done and I just started doing it in a way that worked. Now the kids go to bed, I put on my headphones (it helped me to have a CD to listen to) and I meditate.

I thought this was a great reminder about how to get out of our own way. I’ve been saying this a lot recently to people I have conversations with: “I’m learning how to get out of my own way.” I’m learning to let go of the assumptions that keep me from doing what I want to do. I’m learning to spot the excuses I’m using to block change. Sometimes I hang onto those excuses until I’m ready to move on, but I’m accepting responsibility for holding on rather than placing it on the excuses.

Now it’s your turn:

1. Think about something you’ve been trying to work up to do for a while because you know it will ultimately make you happier and/or make your life easier.
2. Indulge in all the reasons why you haven’t been able to get to it. Go into a lot of detail. What logistical problems surround this activity? What priorities stand in your way of going after it? Are there any people standing in the way of what you want to do (either blatantly or inside your head?) What emotions come up when you think about this activity?
3. Investigate how many of those obstacles are actually true. Do you need to change your story?
4. Now imagine that you can find alternative times, procedures, and people to do this activity with.
5. There is no step five. You can actually find and work with those alternatives whenever you’re ready.

Post about something you’re trying to release expectations and resistance about doing at the online community here.

Permalink