03.28.07
Coping With New Paradigms
My computer is working and I have had time to decompress! I’ve been cooking and exploring some creative pursuits that I would have shied away from in the past. The energy is flowing in my direction and I’m feeling really good. As promised, I thought I would share my experiences about how I’ve been handling the shift to different paradigms.
Paradigm shift is not a particularly new experience for me–in fact my world view has been changing dramatically over the past 8 months or so, somewhat over the past three years, and progressively since I graduated with my undergraduate degree 9 years ago. It has helped, I suppose, that my recent shifting perceptions have gone from feelings of lack and aloneness to a life of joy and prosperity, but I would be lying if I said it hasn’t been a painful, stretching experience.
The two tools that have been most helpful in pulling me out of dark days into bright ones are trust and gratitude. That sounds a little glib to me, but I mean that from the deepest part of who I am. When things are changing around me and I’m not sure of my footing I must get in touch with trust in myself and the universe and gratitude for everything I have and everything that is coming into my life.
Trust
When I think about the hard decisions I’ve faced that have pulled up feelings of insecurity and fear, they all have one thing in common: I had a hard time getting in touch with trust. I wasn’t sure I could trust my ability to make the right decision. I wasn’t sure I could really trust the Universe to support me and help me find happiness. During the lowest points in my life, I questioned everything I did and thought. My life had strayed from where I hoped it would be and it must have been my fault, therefore I couldn’t be trusted to make things right. Here’s the challenging part: Yes, it was my fault. My fear and insecurity was leading me to the very things I was fearful and insecure about.
I can see the irony in that and I’ve discussed it before on this blog. The idea that by being scared I actually bring my fears to me is infuriating. Grrr! But when I stop and think about what fear is–an absence of trust in my abilities and the faithfulness of the Universe–it makes more sense. If I were confident in the fact that I know everything I need to know (I do! So do you!) and if I truly believe that the Universe wants me to be happy (it does! for realz!) I wouldn’t be afraid. I would be able to take huge leaps of faith without a second thought if I was living in perfect trust with myself and All of creation.
I must admit, I still have second thoughts (sometimes third ones and occasionally fourth ones) and I sometimes feel challenged finding trust. I’ve been working towards consciously identifying these moments, though, and I try reaching for the next highest thought towards building that trust. My goal is to know from the deepest place within me that I am capable of anything my desires show me and that the Universe is always there to prop me up and help me attract everything I want.
Gratitude
No matter how scared or depressed or insecure we are, there is always something in our lives that we can be grateful for. Yes, always. Gratitude may be harder to get in touch with when we are feeling low, but our capacity for feeling abundance is limitless. One thing that can never be taken away from us (by anyone—including ourselves) is that capacity and the new opportunity to turn things around in every moment.
So when I’m feeling scared or unsure, I start with the things that I know make me happy–my husband, my cats, my mother, my laptop, fun coincidences that pop up in my life. Once I start feeling the gratitude ease into my being, I work on the ethereal things in my life—my ability to strive for a better feeling and align myself with what I want, the present moment just waiting there for me to turn my fears into possibilities, my unlimited capacity for joy just waiting to be tapped into.
Finally, I work on feeling gratitude for the things that are harder for me to reach—the messages my body send me about how I relate to the world, appreciation for my desires and the anticipation and expectation that comes with not having the physical manifestation of them coming towards me, my capacity for openness and accepting the many gifts that come into my life. And then I say “Thank You!” for the ability to even recognize the good things in my life.
The Importance of Powering Through
Once I actively try to get in touch with trust and gratitude, the last piece in coping with new paradigms is powering through whatever is challenging us. Here’s a concrete example. My husband recently upgraded my laptop from Windows XP to Vista. As you might imagine, Vista is different from XP. It treats processes differently, it looks different, customization options are different. To my husband’s dismay, my first reaction was bitter disappointment. I liked things the way they were! I don’t know where things are! Why is it making me do something I’m not familiar with! Grrr! Small things took on great importance. “I can’t handle this crap every day!” The reality is that as I got used to Vista, the things that really bugged me didn’t actually matter. Through use, I incorporated the differences into my routine.
The same is true with any major change in our lives. Change is a process and accepting the process (including the bumps and little rebellions) is the first and possibly most important step in allowing change into our lives.
