01.19.07
Gratitude
Gratitude is a funny thing. Sometimes it’s the hardest thing in the world and sometimes we can feel so overwhelmed with it that it stops us in our tracks. Gaining perspective on gratitude and seeing what a powerful and positive force it is is important if we want to draw positive things into our lives. At it’s core, gratitude is the way we acknowledge the blessings that come into our lives. We take a conscious moment to think about how fortunate we are that something has happened and connect to the positive energy that is flowing towards us. The more grateful we feel, the more energy flows in our direction and brings us the things we want. That sounds great, right? Why would it ever be hard?
When Gratitude Is Hard
I can think of three reasons why it can be hard to be grateful: 1) We feel obligated or indebted to someone for helping us; 2) Someone else has more than we do and what we have just doesn’t feel good enough; 3) We don’t really feel like we deserve what we have. Let’s break these down.
We feel obligated or indebted to someone for help us.
Sometimes it’s hard to accept that we can’t do everything on our own. We want to be independent and exposing our soft underbellies to other people makes us uncomfortable as does the feeling that we “owe” someone. Here is something to consider: No one has ever made it to a place of happiness without the help of others. We are going to need other people to achieve our goals. When you accept that help, think of it as an opportunity to participate in a cycle of abundance. Giving and receiving is not a system of counting and keeping score. It is a cycle of helping and gratitude.
People will be put in our path who have the knowledge or connections or resources that we will need at that time and they will share what they have with us. This is where we put our gratitude to work. We are grateful they were put in our path. We are grateful for the demonstration that what we need is around us. We are so grateful we are drawing what we need into our lives that we are itching to share what we have with someone else when the opportunity presents itself. By expressing gratitude and passing it on, we draw more and more abundance into our lives.
What we have just doesn’t feel good enough.
We’ve all done it. Someone we know has great news about something and we pretend we’re excited for them–and maybe we really are–but there’s a twinge inside us and a little voice that says, “Why can’t I have that?” Wanting and longing aren’t bad things in and of themselves. They are an illustration of what we want and a movement of energy towards those things. The problem with being jealous of what others have is it assumes that there is limited abundance in the world. When others are blessed with abundance, it does not mean there is less abundance to go around. When you ask yourself “Why can’t I have that?” the answer is, You can! By celebrating with others when they are joyful, we are affirming joy for everyone–including ourselves.
We don’t really feel like we deserve what we have.
You probably know someone who just can’t ask for help, or can’t take a compliment, or who spends most of his or her time taking care of other people. Maybe you are that person–I have certainly been in that place. The message this sends it that we are not worthy of the happiness that comes into our lives. By not asking for help what we’re saying is, “I don’t deserve any help.” By spending all of our time taking care of others and not ourselves we are saying, “I don’t deserve to come first.” Unsurprisingly, a huge obstacal to drawing abundance and happiness into our lives is believing we don’t deserve it.
When something good happens and we don’t feel worthy of it, we wait for something or someone to take it away–for the “other shoe to drop”. We sometimes wonder what the catch is, as if there’s no way we could receive good fortune without strings attached. I’m here to tell you that every one of us deserves all the happiness we can possibly stand. No matter what choices you’ve made or how you’ve lived your life, you absolutely deserve abundance. The key to shifting the abundance towards you is learning to receive it by being grateful when it comes. Take a moment to feel gratitude when someone helps you or says something nice to you. Revel in the moment and think to yourself, “At last, the royal treatment I am due!”
Gratitude as a Daily Practice
There are some easy ways to train yourself to be grateful in your daily life and learn to draw more and more positive energy around you:
- When you eat something that tastes wonderful, take a moment to truly experience the act of eating it. Let yourself feel joy at how good it tastes and how satisfying it is.
- When you take a warm shower, consciously feel how pleasurable it is to be warm and clean. Buy soaps and shampoos you love to smell.
- Savor the moments when someone says a kind word or brings you something you need.
- Live in the moment when a pet offers you unconditional love and affection.
- While you’re going through your morning routine, think of five things you’re really grateful for–whether it’s people, objects, or experiences in your life.
- Experience gratitude as a physical process.
